Hariyanvi Jokes

1              1 chora raste me jandi hoyi chori te bhujan lagya,

tu mne jane hai?

Chori:na,kun hai tu?

Chora: me oye hun, jo tne 2 din pehlan bhi nhi pichana tha.

2              Lugai: Tu mne kitna chave hai?

Appu:Shahjahan jitna.

Lugai:fer tu maran pache Taj Mahal banvavega?

Appu:Haan mne Plot toh le rakhya hai,

bus tere maran ki bat dekhun hun.

3              Master:Dhritrashtra k 100 balak the,

ar Pandav k 5, isa Q?

Appu:Master ji jinki aankh hove hai,

un k dhore or bhi kam hove h.

4              Nurse:mubarak ho thare ghar chora hoya h.

Appu: k technology aa gi,

lugai meri hospital me ar chor ghar me.

5              Babu:beta apne birthday pe k gift lvega?

Chora: Babu jada nhi bus 1 radio

.

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car me band ho.

6              Appu: aachi khabar h, ar bhundi.

Pappu:k?

Appu: Achi ya k meri lugai ka accident ho gya,

ar bhundi ya k wa bach gi.

7              Appu:o bhai mne dekhya k meri lugai kise ,

or gel film dekhan jave thi.

Pappu:fer tne unka picha kara k?

Appu:na mne wa film pehla e dekh rakhi thi.

8              Master:kunsi book thamne jyada madad kare h?

Appu :Mere babu ki Cheque book.

9              Master:balko btao bijli kit te ave hai,

Appu:MAMA ke ghar te.

Master:kukar?

Appu: jib bhi bijli jave hai,

mera babu kahve h, salya ne fer kat di.

10            Appu:chori fasani ave hai?

Pappu:na?

Appu: ek kagaj ka jahaj bna,

jib master ave toh usne class me uda diye,

Master bhuje toh us chori ka nam le diye,

fas gi chori

11            ek budha samsung ke showroom me ja ke, are bhai sham singh ka mobile yade milega k?

shopkeeper: nhi ji.

Budha:fer yade k mile hai?

Sk: samsung ke mobile.

Budha:wo e to bhujun tha.

12            Dada:pote ja ander te mere dand liya.

Pota:dada ibe roti bni koni.

Dada:aare pote roti kisne khani hai,

semi ali budhi te smile deni hai.

13            kanjoos baniya:ke pivega bhai, thanda ak garam?

Guest:Donu mangva lo.

Baniya:ramu nu kar 1 thanda ar 1 garam,

glass pani ka le aa.

14            Appu:allo bachan lag rhya tha, ar dukan angur ki thi.

Pappu:angur ki jagah allu kyu bole hai?

Appu:chup ho ja nhi toh ye makhi aa jengi sun ke.

15            Budha:beta meri dur ki najar kamjor ho gi,

chasma lagana padega.

Appu:babu oo ke chimke hai?

Budha:suraj.

Appu:or kitni dur dekhega babu.

16            Master:jo tere dhore 1000rs ek goj me,

ar 1000rs goj me ho toh tu ke sochega?

Appu:yah paint kis ki hai.

17            Appu:yar nind koni aandi?

Pappu:nu kar nind ki bat dekhan te bariya hai so ja.

18            Appu:O bhai k kare hai?

Pappu:is balak ki awaz record karu hun.

Appu:Kyu?

Pappu:jib u bdaa ho javega fer iste iska matlab bhujunga.

19            Pappu:chal bhai aaj chess khelen.

Appu:tu chal bus me ibe sports shoes pher k aya.

20            1 Lugai apne aadmi ne pitan lag rahi thi.

padosi:kyu mare hai?

lugai:is dhore phone kara tha,

Jis se sampark krna chahte ho wo abhi busy h.

21            Appu: Ye Boyfrnd-girlfrnd ke hove hai?

Pappu:Kuch ni bus chora-chori hove hai.

jisme te ek daand paddi rahve hai,

ar ek charcha karda rahve hai.

22            Appu:doctor meri lugai ne petrol pi liya,

ar uren paren bhajan lag rhi hai.

Pappu(doctor):koi bat nhi jib petrol khatam ho javega,

ruk javegi.

23            Appu: Tera babu kitne sal ka hai.

Pappu: jitne ka me hun.

Appu: nu kukar?

Pappu:Jis Din Mai hoya tha Use din oh babu bna tha.

24            Master:balko btao india ka jhanda sab te pehla kit lahraya gya tha.

Appu:thodi der soch ke bolya.

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hawa me.

25           Chori-hai bhagwan,

Kise samajhdar aadmi te mera byah karwa de.

Bhagwan-Ghar Chali Ja Beti.

Samajhdar Aadmi kade byah e koni karda. 

26           Appu:maa babu bda sharif aadmi hai,

Maa: kukar beta?

Appu:babu jib b kise chori ne dekhe hai,

Apni ek aankh band kar le hai.

27           Master:cheel ne english me ke khve hai?

Appu:Eagle.

Master:Ar jo cheel bimar ho jave to?

Appu:illeagal.

28           Appu:mere ghar ke garden me 1 bomb milya hai.

Pappu:koi bat nhi,jo 3 tak koi claim na kare,

toh tu rakh liye.

29           Appu:arre tne apni lugai te talak kyu diya?

Pappu:yar wa bdi character less thi.

Appu: Kyu?

Pappu:byah usne mere gel kara,

ar bacha bhagwan te mange thi.

30           T.T :- Ticket dikha.

Pappu:- ya li ji.

T.T :- yah to purani se.

.

Pappu:-fer rail kunsi tu ibe ahowroom me te kad ke lyaya hai.

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