“ Bollywood
Movie Formulas
Rules for making INDIAN Movies
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1. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of
heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will
- die
- join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the
end of the movie.
2. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each
other savegely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
3. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection
milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained.
Else, it will be overruled.
4. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best
friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within
the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
5. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain,
even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
6. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
- miss
- run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss
(unless the hero is required to die, as in rule).
7. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a
stack of
- pots
- barrels
- glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
8. Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have a song
sung by
- the brothers
- their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in
order to regain her sight in theclimax)
- the family dog/cat.
The amazing thing is that these folks remember the song
after 20 years in the movie, and you can't remember it 2 minutes after coming
out of the theatre.
9. Police inspectors (when not played by the bhero) come in
three categories:
- Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed
by the villain before the titles.
- Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in rule),
saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back
in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
- The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's
sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
“ Bollywood
Movies for IT Professionals
Movies and their meaning to IT Professionals
Sajan Chale Sasural : Computer professional coming to US.
1942 a Love story : Sticking to one company for more than a
year.
Dil to Pagal Hai : Staying in India, dreaming of US.
Sapnay : Green card.
Sadma : Rejected H-1(B) Visa.
Khalnayak : Bodyshoppers.
Deewana Mastana : Project Manager - Team Leader.
Beta : Home Phone bill exceeding $400pm.
Rakhwala : Project Manager.
Mr. Bechara : Computer professional in Singapore.
Zanjeer : Company bond.
Himmatwala : Breaking company bond.
Tohfa : H-4 Visa for your Wife.
Mawaali : Before coming to US.
Raju Ban Gaya Gentleman : Once you are in US.
Chaudhvin ka Chand : Assembly programmer.
Sahib Bibi aur Ghulam : Client, your company and you.
Shehanshah : Bill Gates.
Admi Sadak Ka : Jumping from company to company.
Dayawan : Company paying full salary in bench
Anari : Year2000 programmer.
Phool Aur Kaanten : Microsoft - IBM.
Aaj Ka Gunda Raaj : Microsoft Monopoly in IT market.
Maharaja : Doctors who came to US in 70's
Hairaan : Non-Computer professionals on seeing computer
professional's pay-check.
Hum Aapke Hain Koun : Illegal Immigrants in US
Aur Pyar Ho Gaya : After staying in US for a Year.
Pardes : India after 2 Years.
Daud : Coming to US.
Rangeela : After getting Green Card.
Bahaar Aane Tak : Time period between Green Card and
Citizenship.
Desh Premee : Going back to India for good
Farz : Going to India every year.
Pyaasa : Longing for a Visa.
Agneepath : Going to Madras Consulate for getting a Visa.
Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar : After coming from consulate with a
Visa.
Bud Naseeb : Not getting a Visa
Himalaya Putra : Firmly asking for $70k from India
Elan-E-Jung : Asking for increment
Gupt : Agreement of Programmer with number of consultants
. Zakmee : After getting rejected twice for a Visa.
Swarg Se Sundar : on landing in US.
Ab Kya Hoga? : Applied for Green Card too late.
Jallad : INS People.
Kranti : Increase H-1 quota.
Main Khiladi Tu Anari : You and Immigration Officer
“ Bollywood
Movies made by IT Engineers
Some Film titles may be like these : --
** Munna Bhi MCSA
** Kal MSN Ho Na Ho
** Love in mIRC
** Tere Nick
** ID Mil Gaya
** Chat To Kero
** Ek Programmer Thi
** Yeh Hack Horaha Hai
** Hum Pyar PC Se Kar Baithe
** Network Ke Us Paar
** Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
** Aao Chat Kare
** C Wale Job Le Jayenge
** Programmer No.1
** Mera Naam Developer
** Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein
** Do Processor, Baarah Terminal
** Tera Code Chal Gaya
** Har Din Jo Mail Karega
** Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
** Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehatha Hai
** Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!
** Client Ek Numbari, C Programmer Dus Numbari
** Login Karo Sajana
** Naukar PC Ka
** 1942 -- A Bug Story
** Kaho Na Virus Hai
** Crash Se Crash Tak
** Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
** Shaheed Hacker Singh
** Password De Ke Dekho
** Terminal Apna , Login Parayi
** Mr. Network Lal
** Terminal Sajaake Rakhna
** Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani
** Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha
** Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi
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