JOKES

Machhar ka bachha pehli baar uda jab wapis aaya to uske papa ne puchha kaisa laga adke?

Bachha bola bahut achha ! jidhar bhi gaya log taliyan baja rahe the..!

Hasband- ji karta hai tumari zulfo me kho jau, baho me bas jau, Baho me zhul jau …..,

Wife- dev anand hi rahoge ya kabhi Imran Hashmi bhi banoge….!

Arz kiya hai …. Gam hai aur tanhai hai ,,

Wah wah….  Wah wah ….

Gam hai aur tanhai hai ,

Kamino tum bhi to msg karo …

Meri kya 2 no ki kamai hai.!

2 sardar train k-piche bhag rahe the, Logo ne kaha “Welldone” sardar

Sardar- khaaak welldone jaana to usey tha mai to chhodne aya tha.

santa- shraab pite rone laga ...? banta- kya hua, ro kyon rhe ho ….?

Santa- yaar jis ladki ko bhulane ke liye pi rha tha uska naam yaad nahi aa raha….!

arz  kiya hai.  zindgi ka maksad hai sabko pakana

wah wah!   Zindgi ka maksad hai sabko pakana

A 4 apple B 4 banana !!  ha  ha ha …

Ram ne sita se shadi ki, Ravan ne sita ka apahran kiya

Hanuman ne sita ko bachaya, to vaastav me hero kaon tha??

“Sanjay Dutt” confused ? read again.

wah re Gandhi kesi chalayi aandhi aaya tha langot main or ghus gaya

5          10        20        50        100      500      1000 ke note me.

mere mobile ka accident ho gaya hai, Samsung hospital k corby word me hai, Dr.nokia & Dr.micromax ka kehna hai ke sms ki botale chahiye

“plz help my mobile …   massi!

Ramlal- Amit se bola- bhai aaj to chai peeneka meza aa gaya .

Amit- Bhai..agar billi ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi maza aata.


Next

Kid's Little Poem SMS

1. twinkle, twinkle , little star,

How i wonder what you are !

Up above the world so high ,

Like a diamond in the sky.

2. Rain, rain go away ,

Come again another day,

All children wants to play,

Rain, rain, go away.

3. ME

I have a little nose,

I have a little chin,

And I have a little mouth,

Just to put my food in.

4. A.B.C.

A.B.C. tumble-down D,

The cat’s in the cupboard

And can’t see me.

5. ONE,TWO,THREE,FOUR,FIVE

One, two, three, four, five.

Once I caught a fish alive.

Why did you let it go?

Because it bit my little finger so.

6. MY FACE

Two little eyes that open and close

Two little ears and one little nose

Two little cheeks and one little chin

Two little lips with the teeth closed in.

7. TWO LITTLE DICKY BIRDS

Two Little Dickey Birds sitting on a wall

One name peter and the other named Paul

Fly away peter fly away Paul

Come back peter, come back Paul.

8. CHUBBY CHEEKS

Chubby, Cheeks, dimple chin,

Rose lips, teeth with in,

Curly hair, very fair,

Eyes are blue, lovely too,

Teacher’s pet, is that you?

Yes! Yes! yes!

9. HUMPTY DUMPTY

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

all the king’s horses,

      And all the king’s men.

      Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty

      Together again.

10. “ONE, TWO, BUCKLE MY SHOSE”

One, Two,  buckle my shoe.

Three, Four,  shut the door.

Five, Six,  pick up sticks.

Seven, Eight,  lay them straight.

Nine, Ten,  a big fat hen.

Eleven, Twelve,  dig and delve.

11. BAA, BAA, BLACK SHEEP

Baa, baa, black sheep,

Have you any wool?

Yes, sir, yes, sir,

Three bags full;

One for my master,

One for my dame,

And one for the little boy

Who lives down the lane.

12. TEA POT

I am a little tea-pot

Short and stout,

Here is my handle,

Here is my spout,

When I get all

Steamed up then I shout

Tip me over and pour me out.

13. PUSSY CAT

“pussy-cat, pussy-cat,

Where have you been ?”

“I’ve been to London

To look at the Queen.”

 “Pussy-cat, Pussy-cat,

What did you there?”

“I frightened a little mouse

Under her chair.”

14. EENA, MEENA

Eena, meena, mina, mo,

Catch the little bad boy by his toe;

If he cries let him go,

Eana, meena, mina, mo.

15. EARLY TO BED

Early to bed,

And early to rise,

Makes a child healthy,

Wealthy and wise.

16. RING-A-RING O`ROSES

Ring-a-ring O`roses,

A pocket full of posies,

A-tishoo!

We all fall down.

17. HOT CROSS BUNS

Hot-cross buns ! Hot cross buns !

One a penny, two a penny,

Hot-cross buns !

If you have no daughters,

Give them to your sons.

One a penny, two a penny,

Hot cross buns !

18. MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY

Marry had a little lamb,

Little lamb, little lamb.

Its fleece was white as snow

And every where that marry went,

The little lamb was sure to go.

Next

SHAYARI

“Doston ki Yaadon Se Badkar Koi Dolat Nahi Hoti..

Sath Rahna Hi Dost Ki Jarurt Nahi Hoti,

Duriya Kar Deti Hai Yaadon Ko Zinda,Warna Yaadon Ki Koi Kimat Nahi Hoti

“Ga saku nagma,wo saaz kaha se lau,

Ga saku nagma,wo saaz kaha se lau, Suna saku kuch aapko wo andaz kaha se lau, Yu to chand ki tarif karna aasan hai, Kar saku aapki tarif wo alfaj kaha se lau,

“Mumtaj ki kabar ko dekh ke har aashiq

Mumtaj ki kabar ko dekh ke har aashiq ko mohabbat ki misal nazar aati hai....Hum kis-kis ke liye Tajmahal banwayein???Hume to har ladki Mumtaj nazar aati hai....

“Ae zindagi yu mujhse daga na kar

Ae zindagi yu mujhse daga na kar,Main zinda rahu yeh dua na kar.... Koi chhuta hai tujhe to hoti zalan ,Ae hawa tu bhi usse chhuaa na kar....

“Kyoun humeme kisi ki talash hot hai..

Kyoun humeme kisi ki talash hot hai...? youn Dil ko kisi ki aaash hoti hai...? Chand ko dekho, woh bhi toh Tanha hai, Fir bhi Chandni se Roshan Uski Raat Hoti Hai....

“Ajeeb si kashish hai app me ki hum aap

Ajeeb si kashish hai app me ki hum aap ke khaylo me khoye rehte hai...

ye soch ke aap khwabo me aaye hum din me bhi soye rehte hai...

“Log kehte hain ke ishq itna mat karo

Log kehte hain ke ishq itna mat karo, ke hussan sar pe sawar ho jaaye, hum kehte hai ke ishq itna karo, ke patthar dil ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaye.

“Har aansu lete hain bus tera hi naam..

Har aansu lete hain bus tera hi naam..

Har aansu dete hain sirf yahi paigaam...

Ke har aansu mein basi hain teri yaadein tamaam....

To aaj khaate hain inhi aansuon ki kasam.....

Ke ab har aansu karenge saanson ka kaam......”

“CHUP REHTE HAI KYUKI KOI KHAFA

CHUP REHTE HAI KYUKI KOI KHAFA NA HO JAYE.......

HUMSE KOI RUSHWA NA HO JAYE......

BADI MUSHKIL SE KOI APNA BANA HAI,,,,

MILNE SE PEHLE HI KAHI JUDA NA HO JAYE .

“Kash mera ghar tere ghar k samne hota

Kash mera ghar tere ghar k samne hota

baat nahi par deedar to hotaa........... “

“KAHA THA US NE K APNA BANA K CHORON

KAHA THA US NE K APNA BANA K CHORON GA

HUWA BHI YOUN K APNA BANA K CHOR DEIYA .

“dil se tera kahayal na jai

dil se tera kahayal na jai to kaya karain,tu bata tu yad aaye to kaya karain,hasrat hai tuje ik nazar dekhanay ki,magar kismat wo lamaha na laye to kaya karain .

“muskra kar hum jee jathe hain.

muskra kar hum jee jathe hain. laiken zeher ka piyla pee jathe hain.

jaan se bhi ziyada pyaar karthe hain ke marthe marthe bhi hum jee jathe hain.

“Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,

Jaan hai mujhko zindagi se pyaari,

Jaan ke liye kar doon kurbaan yaari,

Jaan ke liye todd doon dosti tumhaari,

Ab tumse kya chhupaana,

Tum hi toh ho jaan hamaari !

“Jis din se juda vo humse hue

Jis din se juda vo humse hue

is dil ne dharkna chor diya

hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra

taaro ne chamkna chor diya.

“

“Dil jo tutega to fariyaad karoge tum

Dil jo tutega to fariyaad karoge tum. Hum na rahe to hume yaad karoge tum. Aaj to kehte ho hamare pass waqt nahi, par ek din mere liya waqt barbad karoge tum..........Sochna Zaroor yashu.........”

“Manzalain be os ki thin,

Manzalain bhi os ki thin, Rasta bhi os ka tha, Ek main Akaila tha, Kafaila behi os ka tha, Saath Saath chalne ki soch bhi  os ki thi, Phir rasta badalne ka faisla bhi  os ka tha, Aaj keu akaila hon, Dil yeh Sawal karta hai, Log to os ke thay, KIA KHUDA BHI OS KA THA????

“jis ko apna samjha wo hi

jis ko apna samjha wo hi begana nikla ham pe sitam karnay ko zamana nikla zulm karnay ki jis nay intaha kar de wo apna sinasha purana nikla.

“sans lene se bhi teri yaad

sans lene se bhi teri yaad aati hai, nalene se meri jaan jati hai, kasise kahun ki sanns se main jinda hon jabki sans se pehle teri yaad hai.

“Log laut jate Gum hamara

Log laut jate Gum hamara dekhkar jaise Lehar laut jati hai kinara dekhkar.

Matt dena kandhha meri Arthi ko tum kahin phir se Zinda na ho jau Tumhara Sahara Dekhkar...”

“Dharti ka gum choopane ke

Dharti ka gum choopane ke liye gagan hota hai, dil ka gum choppane ke liye badan hota hai, Mer ke bhi choopane honge gum shaayad isliye har laash pe ek kafan hota hai.

Next

FRIENDS SMS

“Smile ever udas never,

Smile ever udas never,speak ever, gumsum never,share ever, hide never,care ever, left nerremember me ever, forget me never,Friends forever, live whereever.

“Aapki Dosti hamein is kada

Aapki Dosti hamein is kadar pyaari hai, Jis tarah bin paani ke machli bechari hai, Ab na aur kuch khawish hai, Bus tum DOST bane raho ye hi tum se guzarish hai.

“Aasman humse naraaz

Aasman humse naraaz hai.....?? Taaron ka gussa behisaab hai.! Vo sab humse jalte hain, kyunki Chand se behtar DOST hamare paas hai.

“bhulna tumhe na asaan

bhulna tumhe na asaan hoga,jo bhule tumhe vo nadaan hoga,aap to baste ho dil mein hamare,aap hamein na bhulein ye aapka ehsan hoga....miss u sooo much “

“U may be out of my Nazer, but u not out

U may be out of my Nazer, but u not out of my Dil,u may be out of my reach, but u r not out of my soch,I may be kush be nahi to u, But u will be always Sub Kush to Me.

“Jub dosti ki dastan Waqt sunae ga,

Jub dosti ki dastan Waqt sunae ga, hum ko bi koi shaks yaad aey ga, tub bhool jain gay zindagi ke gum ko, jub aap kay saath guzra wakt yaad aey ga.

“Zindgai udaas hone ka naam nahi,,

Zindgai udaas hone ka naam nahi,,,,,,, Dosti sirf paas hone ka naam nahi, Agar tum door reh kar bhi hame yaad rakho,,,,,,, is se badkar hame koi enaam nahi...”

“Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,

Dosti achchi ho toh rang laati hai,

Dosti gehri ho toh sabko bhaati hai,

Dosti naadaan ho toh toot jaati hai,

Par agar dosti apne jaisi ho....

.... Toh itihaas banaati hai !

“Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,

Tumse doori ka ehsaas sataane lagaa,

Tere saath guzaraa har lamha yaad aane laga,

Jab bhi tujhe bhoolne ki koshish ki aye dost,

Tu dil ke aur bhi kareeb aane laga !

“Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,

Zindagi nahin humein doston se pyaari,

Doston pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,

Aankhon mein hamaari aansoon hai toh kya,

Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskaan tumhaari !

“Dost ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,

Dost ek saahil hai tufaano ke liye,

Dost ek aaina hai armaano ke liye,

Dost ek mehfil hai anjaano ke liye,

Dosti ek khawaahish hai aap jaise dost ko paane ke liye !!

“Tujhe dekhe bina teri tasweer

Tujhe dekhe bina teri tasweer bana sakta hoon,

Tujhse mile bina tera haal bata sakta hoon,

Hai meri dosti mein itna dum,

Apni aankh ka aansoon teri aankh se gira sakta hoon !!

“Raatein gumnaam hoti hai,

Raatein gumnaam hoti hai,

Din kisike naam hota hai,

Hum zindagi kuch is tarah jeete hai,

Ki har lamha doston ke naam hota hai !

“Khawabon mein ayeng

Khawabon mein ayenfe SMS ki tarah. Dil mein Bas jaen ge RINGTONE ki tarah. Pyar kabhi kam na ho ga BALANCE ki tarah. Bus aap busy na rehna NETWORK ki tarah!i!i!i..

“Raaste aise ho, jo chalen

Raaste aise ho, jo chalen ko majboor kare, Maikhane aise ho jo peene ko majboor kare, Jab koi maut ka daaman thamnaa chahe, tow dost aise ho jo jeene ko majboor kare.

“Dosti Se Aaj Pyar Sharmaya

Dosti Se Aaj Pyar Sharmaya Hai, Teri Chahat Ne Kuch Aisa Gazab Dhaaya Hai. Khudaa Se Kya Tujhe Maange, Woh Tow Khud Aaj Mujh Se Tujh Jaisa Dost Mangne Aaya Hai.

“D se Dosti D se Dushman

D se Dosti D se Dushmani D se Dill D se Dill lagi D se Dewana D se Dewangi D se Dharkan D se Dar D se Dekha app ko D se Dream mein Phir B se Bekrar ho ker M se Message ker dala app ko.

“Ek sapna-Kisi apne se milna

Ek sapna-Kisi apne se milna,Ek ittefaq-Aapka humari zindagi mein aana,Ek haqiqat- Aap se dosti karna aur,Ek tamanna -Dosti ko zindagi bhar nibhana.....”

“Tu bada hi sweet hai re

Abe o burai ke resgulle, Pap ki berfi , Bewafa ke laddu, Matlabi chuski,Badmashi ke pedhe, Jhoot ke kalakand.. Tu bada hi sweet hai re..

“Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya.

Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya.. Khushbu teri sath laya...Phir mere dil me khayal aaya...Ke lagta hay ki...Aaj bhi tu.. Nahi "NAHAYA"

“Har koi pyaar k liye tarapta

Har koi pyaar k liye tarapta hai,Har koi pyaar k liye rota hai mere pyaar ko ghalat nahi samjhna dost pyaar to doston mein bhi hota hai.

“DOsti gunah hai to hone na

DOsti gunah hai to hone na dena Dosti Khuda hai to khone na dena karte ho dosti jab kisi se to us Dost ko kabhi rone na dena.

“har dua kubul nahi hoti,

har dua kubul nahi hoti,

har aarzu puri nahi hoti,

jinke dil mein \"aap\"jaise dost rahte ho,

unke liye dhadakne bhi zaruri nahi hoti.....”

“