jokes 1

Mohan : K ho Shyam, timro daat ajahi dukhiraheko chha ? aaba
chinta nagara yesko upachar masanga chha.

Shyam : Kasto upachar ?

Mohan : Thaha chha, jaba mero daat dukchha, mata sidha 
ghar janchhu ra meri srimati laai angalo halera sutchhu.

Shyam : A teso bhaye aile timro srimati yetibela kaha
bhetinchin ta.

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Mohan : Yaar, euta khusi ko kura chha, Ma ra meri
premika bibaha gardai chhau ?

Shyam : Ho ra , ani kahile gardai chhau ta bihe ?

Mohan : Maile Magh 3 gate ra unle chai Phalgun 8 gate.

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Roshniko bibaha paschat unki sashule unlai samjhaain : Hera
, Aaja dekhi timi malai aafnai aama samjha, Mohan ko buba laai
aafnai buba samjha.

K hi ber pachhhi dhokako ghanti bajchha.

Sashu : Hera ta chori dhokama ko chha ?

Roshnile dhoka kholin ra Mohan lai dekhera
: Aama dai aaunu bhayechha !]

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Pasale : Hera Mohan, grahak laai kahile pani khali pathaunu
hudaina, yedi grahak le mageko saaman chaina bhane turantai arko mildo juldo
saaman offer garnu parchha.

Tetibela euta Grahak aaucha ra Toilet Paper magchha.

Mohan : Toilet Paper ta chaina, khaksi diu ?

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Ekpatak teen ota phal ek aapas ma guff gardai thia .

Apple : Malai ta sabaile dhoyera katera khanchan.

Ambak : Malai pani sabaile dhoyera katera khanchan.

Kera chai chup-chap lagera basiraheko dekhera Apple le sodhyo: Kina timi chup
chap lagera baseko ?

Kera : Ma k bhanu yaar, bhanna ni laaj lagchha, malai ta
sabai jana le nangojhar banayera khanchan .

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Mohan : I love you ko artha k hunchha ?

Urbashi : Ma TImilai maya garchhu .

Mohan : Gazzab chha ba, timisanga english ma euta question k
sodhe, timi masanga Prem garna thaleu ?

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Ekchoti Mohan le euta gadha ko agadi euta rakshi ko balti ra arko ma pani
bharera rakhidiyo. Gadha le rakshi ko balti chadera pani piyo, tespachhi Mohan
le shyam lai sodhyo.

Mohan : Shyam, la bhana yesbata timile k siksha payeu ?

Shyam : Jasle Rakshi Piudaina tyo gadha ho.

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Mohan : Malai achammko roog lageko chha, jaba meri
wife bolchin taba ma k hi sundina.

Doctor : Oh ho ! Yo ta roog haina , Bhagwan ko kripa ho.

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Pandit ji :Sastrama lekhiyeko chha ki Husband ra wife
bhaneka ekai rath ka dui Pangra hun. Yadi yi madhay ek bigriyo bhane rath
chaldaina. Yes bata timile k shiksha pauchhau ?

Mohan : Maile yes bata k siksha paye bhane, hamile euta
atirikta Pangra jageda rakhnu parchha.

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Jeevan : Aaja maile mero class ko ramri keti laai
Phasaaye.

Shyam : Kasari ni ?

Jeevan : Maile Plane banayera sir laai hirkaye, tespachhi
sir le rishayera sodhnu bhayo - Kasle garyo yo kaam bhanera ? Ani maile
uthera tyo ketiko naam bhanidiye, ani tyo Phasi !

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Doctor : Bachha laai Pani pilaunu bhanda aagadi, ramrari
umalnu parchha.

Mahila : Tara Doctor saab, umalyo bhane bachha
mardaina ra !

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Roshan laai euta charale sarai dukha diyiraheko thio, usle tyo chara
laai marne yojana banayo ra Jaal thapera Samaatyo ani charalaai marna Thulo Rukh
maathi chadyo ra mathi pugera tyo charalaai tala tira phali diyo.

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Euta kukhuri anda kinna pasale kaha gaie ra pasale sanga dui ota anda
maagi.

Pasale : Timi yo anda k garchau ?

Kukhuri : Mero kukhurale bhaneko," Darling, jabo 4 rupaiya
ko laagi kina timi aafnu figure bigarchau ?

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Chori : Aama, ma Roshan sanga Bihe gardina, kinabhane
u God ma biswas gardaina !

Aama : Chori, ta ussanga bihe gar, tespachhi u aafai God ma
biswas garna thachha.

Bibaha ko k hi din pachhi

Chori : Aama hijo rati mero uha sanga jhagada
bhayo.

Aama : Chinta garni pardaina chori, Baibahik jeevanma yesto
sanatina jahgada bhai rahanchha.

Chori : Tyo ta thik chha, aama teso bhaye ma tyo laas ko k
garu ?

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Ek mahila doodh bikreta sanga: Sauji, kina ho aajabholi ta
doodh sarai patalo aauchha ni ?

Doodh Bikreta : Tyo ta thaha bhayo, tara malai kina bhanu
hunchha kunai ramro Doctor laai dekhaunuhos na.

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Euta Balatkari marepachi Yamarajle uslai narkako sajaya
sunaudai bhane: Yo paapi laai taato telma haalnu.

4-5 ghanta pachhiYamarajle daasilaai bolayerasodhe: Kina ahile samma tyo
paapi lai telma nahaleko ?

Daasi : K garu Prabhu ! Tyo paapile malaai chulo balnanai
didaina.

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Buba (abibaahit garbabati chori
sanga) : Chori ekchoti bhanide, talai yo awastama puryaune
ko ho ?

Chori : Maile tapailaai 15 ota kera khuwaye bhane tapai
bhanna saknu hunchha ki kun chai kera le tapaiko bhar badayo bhanera !

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Patient: Doctor, I think that I've bitten by a vampire.

Doctor: Drink this glass of water.

Patient: Will it make me better?

Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.


A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Kanjoos : Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya?
Dukandar : 1Rs.
Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
Dukandar : 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Kanjoos :Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de.

Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena
parega!!!

Ladki : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
Ladka : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!

Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut padi,
Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Kanjoos :Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Arbi:Munna!!
Ab hamarey ander bhi Kanjoos ka khoon dor raha hay !

Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the, to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu, so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!

Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata dekh patni ne pati se kaha

– Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji

Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena, paas karke dikha.

Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Bhola: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?

Teacher : Santa batao `M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?

Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha,
Dost : Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Kanjoos : Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda..

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