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Bollywood Jokes 2



“              Bollywood and Software

*  DO loop
   Sau saal pehle, mujhe tumse pyaar tha Aaj bhi hai, aur kal
   bhi rahega

*  IF THEN ELSE
   Tum agar mujhko na chaaho to koi baat nahin Magar kisi aur
   ko chaahogi to mushkil hogi.

*  RETURN statement
   aa laut ke aaja mere meet tujhe mere geet bulaate hain

*  Procedure call
   aaja re ab mera dil pukaara

*  malloc()
   Yaad kiya dilne kahan ho tum?

*  exit(), suspend
   Ruk jaa o jaane waali ruk jaa

*  for(;;), the infinite loop
   hum tum, yug yug se ye geet milan ke gaate rahe hain,
   gaate rahenge hum tum...

*  [remote login:]
   tumse kuchh kehna hai, gar tum kuch kehne do

*  [ network busy ]
   suno - kaho, kaha - suna, kucha huwa kya? abhee to nahin...

*  Two Recursive functions calling each other
   muze kuch kahana hein, muze bhee kuch kahena hein pahle
   tum,  pahle tum.....

*  extern variable
   hum hein rahee pyaar ke, humse kucha bhee na boliye jo bhee
   pyar se mila hum usike ho liye

*  static/local variable
   Jeena yahaan, marna yahaan iske siwa jaana kahan    

*  SUBROUTINE
   Akela hoon mai, es duniya mein, na koi sathee hai......

*  Mental state after a CLEAN COMPILE
   Ek punjaban dil churake le gayee, hai...... sona sona ...... dil mera
   sona.....

*  Completion of DESIGN SPECIFICATION
   Chanda se hoga woh pyara, phoolon se hoga woh nyara, nachega aangan mei
   chamcham, nanha sa munna hamara.....

*  FILE NOT FOUND
   Na tum hame jano, na hum tumhe jane, magar lagta hai kutch aisa......

*  Global application
   Mera juuta hai japanee, yeh patloon enlishtani, sar pe lal topy roosi phir
   bhi dil hai hindustani......


“              Bollywood Bloopers

Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam:
1) Amitabh is using the Nokia communicator in 1992 whereas Nokia itself launched it from 1998 onwards. May be he is a secret test dummy for Nokia!
2) Amitabh singing "aye kya bolti tu" in Diwali of 1992 whereas the song was released in 1997 in the movie Ghulam. Guess he has esp.
3) But The Mother Of All Flaws In The Movie K3G is when Hrithik is kid he has 10 fingers...when he grows up he has Eleven
4) Last ball of the cricket match. 1 ball and 6 runs needed. Guess what, the ball is shining and unused !!
5) The fatso Laddu turns into Hrithik 10 years later, however Shahrukh, Kajol, Dadi, Nani and Johny Lever are the same after 10 years!!
Q: What will a drunkard say after seeing the movie? A: Kabhi Whiskey Kabhie Rum


Pyar To Hona Hi Tha
Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Rangeela
Aamir Khan tells his friend that he will take Urmila Matondkar for a Chinese meal. Strangely when they are in the restaurant, Aamir Khan orders usal pav etc. What's happened to the noodle & chowmein?

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi
Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America. Well well - some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways - since when did they start flying abroad?

Raja Hindustani
Navneet Nishan has a short hair before marriage. But after tying the knot, overnight she acquires waist-length hair. What a hair raising experience!!

Raja
Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call a autofill!

Guddu
Manisha & Shahrukh are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land down on the Glider. What a switch above sea level!


Jung
Rambha files a case against Ajay Devgan accusing him of rape and produces 3 photographs to prove her claim. However in the three photos, she's wearing three different dresses. So I guess it must be a fashion show cum rape going on!!

Tere Mere Sapne
Priya Gill is doing her B.A. But at the bus stop, she is carrying her electrical technology thesis by B.L.Theraja. What an electrifying interest.

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